Hello Random People of my followers,
I hope all is well with you! I come bareing bad news for those of you who don't know on Sunday my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me.
****Below this line Probably isn't worth reading unless you want to see some one who's turning slightly more crazy than they where before****
This has been possibly the worst 2 days in a very very very long time. I swear emotionally I'm worse than a teenage girl and to be honest I just can't take it any more which is why at 5am I'm here venting my frustrations where no one will probably read it and that's quite frankly for the best.
The worst part about this is that truthfully I have no one I can talk too about this honestly as you can probably imagine I'm not feeling overly trust worthy currently with my emotions which does suck. Greatly. As much as this is completely and total torture. I am however once again finding out who my friends are.
Now I'm not one to confess, but I have lied to alot of people and to be honest even my self in the past 48 hours is untrue just with the simple answer of "I'm fine" or "Don't worry I'm doing okay"which is all lies, Last night I had a massive panic attack , I can't touch anything that was hers or of her without a feeling like if I do it will just spontaneously combust, now I know this is a slight exaggeration but EVERY god dam thing reminds me of us or of her or of time we spent together (and saddly even DA is under that, but as said earlier the only safe place) I can't even look at the titles of half of the songs on my computer or my phone let alone listen to them Or even delete them. from big things to the littlest of things and to be honest they just hurt the most right now.
I think possibly the most un-nerving and thing about this all is that I don't even know who I am any more, I know it may sound odd and far fetched but the person who I was before her, and the person I was while I was with her feel like two completely different people. They both lead different lifestyles almost completely different and the thought of going back to that place and person scares the S**T of me.
Right I probably have ranted enough now and I have to say writing down my frustration, my anger and to be honest even my vunrebleness has made me feel 1% better but being positive at least that's 1% in the right direction 99% left I guess! (well that's what I have been told anyway)
To keep me busy, Inspired and on the whole more creative I'm going to be a dam sight more active too weather that is in pictures or this Journal I'm not to sure.
Slight side note of a side note, This is probably the best English I have used since finishing GCSE English and its all typed on a phone!
Signing off for now,